Tic Tac Grow

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Reflections

During 50+ years of serving passionately young children and families and advocating for high quality early learning programs I experienced the early childhood field to the fullest. From teaching infants, toddlers, preschoolers, and kindergarteners to starting an early childhood and family center and creating Tic Tac Grow PlayWear, to serving on over 35 non-profit Boards of Directors and facilitating state and national early childhood public policy initiatives—I loved the work! A heartfelt thank you to clients, customers, family, friends, and mentors. 

And, deep appreciation to all infants, toddlers, and preschool children who express joy in play and discovery and remind grownups to see the world through their lens. 

Judith K. Lavender 
Tic Tac Grow Founder 

Bumps and Lumps

Bumps and Lumps

During my childhood, I sat down for breakfast every morning with a table of ten individuals. Fixing breakfast for our family was a shared routine. My job was to set the table. My four brothers sat on one side and my three sisters and I sat on the other side. The youngest boy and girl sat closest to Mom and the oldest boy and girl sat closest to Dad. This seating arrangement minimized squabbling.

Monday to Friday we had hot cereal during the school months and cold cereal in the summer. Most Sunday mornings we had pancakes or eggs. And, sometimes Dad made Navajo fry bread dipped in sugar…yum!

The hot cereal alternated every other day….cream of wheat and then oatmeal. My brother’s job was to cook the hot cereal. Sometimes the cream of wheat came out lumpy. I gagged as I took each bite of lumpy cream of wheat. Thank goodness for our Collie named Laddie. He would wiggle under the table and rest his head near my feet. I obliged by loading my spoon with the lumps of cereal and slowly slide it under the table for him. He didn’t mind the lumps…better him than me! I wasn’t allowed to leave the table until I cleaned my bowl. Actually that rule served me well during first grade when phonics was the first lesson at school each month.

Phonics was not my favorite subject. Knowing that I could linger at the table, I took my time eating while watching the clock tick past the time for the school bell. My teacher, Mrs. Wagner, had already taught my two older brothers and older sister. She let it slip by on the days that I slipped into my desk a bit late.

What relief I felt when it was an oatmeal day. For me, that meant I made it to school on time! Thanks to my mother for starting my day with my family by having us share breakfast together. Even though the lumpy cream of wheat was not my favorite, the ritual of having breakfast together gave me a healthy start both emotionally and physically and helped me get through the daily bumps and lumps.

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Learning in Context

Learning

In my hometown, cross-town traffic came to a halt with each train that rumbled down the tracks that paralleled Route 66. The freight trains often had more than 100 cars attached to the engine and to help us pass the time while we waited for the train to creep down the tracks, my mother encouraged us to count the cars.

When I see a freight train today it brings back memories of counting, sorting, and classifying. I learned to count objects by watching slowly moving freight train cars roll through the center of my hometown. I had to stay focused to keep my count. Freight trains had different cars…box cars, coal cars, flat cars, refrigerated cars, tankers, and cabooses. Observing them taught me to sort and classify, too!

I imagined what each car held. Were they full, half empty, or completely empty?  Red cabooses intrigued me the most. To me, they were little rolling houses. In all the years I watched freight trains move through town, I never went inside a caboose! My imagination continues with its own versions of the interiors!

Preparing

My father’s business bought thousands of handmade silver beads from Navajo silversmiths who made them to trade for silver, turquoise, and other jewelry making supplies. Using my thumb and index finger, I carefully picked up each bead and strung it onto a wire coat hangar. I counted as I strung them. When the hangar was full I looped the end around and began the process over again. My thumb and index finger received necessary practice for moving together to coordinate and strengthen them so later I could hold a pencil and write letters! 

Risking

Every block in our neighborhood had alleyways behind the homes. They were lined with old oil barrel used for trashcans. There were no lids and the smell was pungent on hot summer days. To me, the alleys were no man’s land and a bit risky for hanging out. However, that didn’t stop me from playing one of my favorite games. Preparing to wander down the alley, I strapped on my holster  with my toy six shooters and headed out to play shoot out hide and seek. I liked my shiny six shooters–especially when I could put a roll of caps in them! The thrill of waiting for my prey to surface as I hid behind an oil barrel so I could shoot my cap gun was worth the smell and dirty hideout. The fun of wearing a fringed vest, cowgirl hat, and carrying the weight of my pistols let me take risks in the alley behind my home—shooting at my brothers, sisters, and neighborhood pals—all filled with playful imagination!

Discovering

My redemption from the alley shootouts came with Vacation Bible School at community churches.  My hometown didn’t have summer programs for kids so my mother enrolled me in every church’s Vacation Bible School.  Although I attended several, two stand out in my memory. The Baptists had really sweet red Kool-aid and the most fun outdoor games. It is where I learned to play Red Rover. The church was two blocks from home and I could walk to the program. The Methodists had the best cookies and music.  I still sing the Little Brown Church in the Vale and remember how fun it was to march up the steep steps into the church singing it loudly. Sometimes our family visited Native American Pueblos and villages. I learned about dancing, singing, and different musical rhythms by watching their prayerful rituals. Each of these experiences opened the world to me and taught me that religion comes in many forms.

Wondering

My mother required us to take a nap every afternoon during the summer months. Sometimes the hour felt like eternity. I begged to rest on the swing in the backyard because I could watch the large cumulus clouds move slowly across the blue sky. They entertained me for my quiet hour. I knew the hour was up when I heard the approaching sound of a propeller airplane above me. Frontier Airlines flew overhead each day around three o’clock. With all the energy I could muster, I waved my arms back and forth and called out, “Hello Frontier Airlines!” I imagined the people in the airplane, what they wore, how they looked,and where they lived.  The plane with my imagination linked me to the world beyond my little hometown.

Playing

Summer evenings gave way to games in the vacant lot across the street from my home. Neighborhood kids of all ages played together. Since I was one of the smallest and youngest in the group, I was never chosen first when it came to forming baseball teams.  I learned to be patient and then persist! What satisfaction I felt when I hit the ball even if I was put out at first base! We played until  the crickets came out and the sun set. Then we gathered our bats and balls and headed in—another day spent making rules, following rules and playing!

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Six Playful Ideas

Six Playful Ideas

“The playing child advances forward to new stages of mastery.” Erik H. Erikson

Encourage thoughtful play with open-ended objects that promote curiosity and discovery.  Provide these six groups of toys, give ample time for play, and watch what happens!

Beads in various colors and sizes (large ones for very young children) allow children to sort according to size and color, string them using the thumb and forefinger, and give practice to using pincer movement needed for holding pencils later. 

Blocks of all sizes give endless hours of opportunity to discover math concepts including spatial concepts and science problems such as physics of ramps and motion.  Blocks can be stacked, lined up, changed over and over to represent different ideas. 

Nested cups whether measuring cups or repurposed plastic containers from cottage cheese, sour cream, and yogurt give young chldren opportunity for trial and error about size.  And, graduated colorful discs both large and small encourage observation to discover arranging them in proper order.

Puzzles stimulate the eye to look for differences and discover how to put them together.  Whether wooden or cardboard they encourage focus, observation skills, and create satisfied feelings when completed.

Dolls, stuffed animals, boxes or small crates to use as beds, combined with repurposed adult clothes or accessories such as neckties, jewelry, purses, shoes, jackets, and hats invite imagination.  These items spur young children to pretend and explore the world around them.

Clay, crayon, glue, paint, scissors, and play dough paired with different sizes of white and colored paper and natural materials such as rocks, sticks, dried flowers, and fabric strips provide open-ended thinking using materials and imagination.  And, give children time to explore and observe the materials and think about how to use them.  Children will focus and stay involved if given adequate time.  Right and wrong does not exist in this arena…it is all about focusing and exploring.

Good Job!

Good Job!!

We often use the two words good job as a quick and reinforcing comment when a young child does something.  The next time you find yourself wanting to say, good job take a different approach and ask how did you do that or what made you think that?   You will get extended conversation when you invite the conversation to expand.  And, more importantly, you will find out what the child is thinking.  Go a step further and ask, is there another way to think about it?  Conversation helps build discovery and understanding for all.

Discipline Grit and Perserverance

Discipline, Grit, and Perseverance

An article about grit and children caught my eye in a major newspaper this week. I reflected on it and share some brief thoughts with you.

Decision making throughout life requires discipline.  Having grit and perseverance comes from discipline.  Some people see discipline and punishment as one and the same.  However, punishment has different outcomes from discipline.  Punishment does not lay the same foundation that discipline does. 

 When we punish we: 

  • can be inconsistent
  • inflict pain or humiliation
  • give few words of explanation
  • create anger and break trust
  • teach, “I’d better not get caught next time”

 When we interact with our children and guide discipline for them we:

  • communicate
  • correct negative habits or behavior
  • teach values
  • set rules with consequences
  • accept mistakes and acknowledge developmental challenges to authority

Through discipline a child learns the rules, values, and expectations of his family and culture.  When a parent creates an environment of clear communication and an understanding of developmentally appropriate behavior, the child has the opportunity to reach his potential at each stage of development.  Discipline sets the foundation for strong self-confidence. 

Self-confidence is what propels us when life hands us challenges.   How does a child develop self-confidence and then maintain it as he enters adulthood?  This lifelong developmental process is tied to physical, social, moral, emotional, and cognitive growth in all of us. The most adaptive self-concepts arrive from coping experiences where negative experiences are transformed to positive ones.  Throughout life we learn and grow from our mistakes.  Give your children a gift of grit and perseverance by developing consistency and discipline as a foundation.

 

Smile

A smile costs nothing, but gives much. It enriches those who receive, without making poorer those who give.  It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever. None is so rich or mighty that he can get along without it, and none is so poor but that he can be rich by it. A smile creates happiness in the home, fosters good will in business, and is the countersign of friendship. It brings rest to the weary, cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad, and it is nature’s best antidote for trouble. Yet, it cannot be bought, begged borrowed or stolen, for it is something that is of no value to anyone until it is given away. Some people are too tired to give you a smile. Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile so much as he who has no more to give. (author unknown)



Blinking Christmas Lights

With the holidays gearing up conversations begin with “What are your Christmas plans?”  Everyone seems to have a story of joy or woe that revolves around coming together with family causing me to reflect.

My childhood holidays involved shared meals with extended family using family recipes. My children’s holidays meant meals with close friends since we lived far from relatives.  Some Christmases we celebrated alone and some we celebrated with other families.  Throughout the years we searched to connect and create festive feelings.  We took family vacations after Christmas to winter wonderlands and to balmy tropical climates.  We had opportunity to peek at many different ways to celebrate holidays and had freedom to create our own. 

I listen with interest as people talk of trips to share holidays with their families, giving me pause to think about my family in the 21st century.  My childhood family has four living generations with the oldest at 101 years old and the youngest at 1 year old.  We have married couples, divorced and divorcing couples, blended families, cohabiting couples, singles, relatives from other countries, adopted children, and a mixture of personality types and political opinions among the four generations.  I believe if you put our family in-laws in one room and ask a stranger to figure out the connection, the stranger would leave the room wondering.  My family is a diverse lot and bringing everyone together requires flexibility, patience, tolerance, and a willingness to laugh.

When I look at the strings of lights on our Christmas tree, I see four generations lighting up my holidays. My family is not a string of many colored Christmas lights, nor is it a string of one colored mini lights…rather, it is several strings of blinking lights both colored and mini—trying to find a way to connect and understand the meaning of change from generation to generation.

The Joy of Fantasy

I’m A Believer

Each year following Thanksgiving and in early December, Mrs. Santa Claus called our home and asked my brothers, sisters, and me what we wanted for Christmas.  I counted on her call to make my annual connection to Santa, his elves and the North Pole.  I made a list.  I told her how good I had been, and politely stated what I hoped Santa would bring me.  Her call was magical and turned my imagination onto Christmas mode.

Christmas preparation began the day after Thanksgiving when a friend came to our home to take our annual family photo for our Christmas card.  My mother put on her apron and baked dozens of cookies to decorate and give to friends.  Each activity built anticipation and enjoyment for our Christmas celebration and traditions. My mother made an Advent wreath and each Sunday in December we dutifully lit the appropriate candle. In mid December, our family drove to a nearby area, found our tree, and cut it down. The following week we decorated it.  Our church had a Christmas Pageant and I played either a blind shepherd or an angel—parts reserved for the youngest. Eventually, I earned my way to be Mary! The month of December seemed an eternity and Christmas Eve was the longest night of the year for me.

My vivid memories of lying awake on Christmas Eve waiting to hear Santa’s sled land on my roof still amuse me.  Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer was real to me. I loved the other reindeer, to, and sang the song with passion. Over and over during the month of December I read or heard the story, The Night Before Christmas. Having heard it so many times I memorized it and recited it out loud as it was read to me. Everything about Christmas sparked my imagination. 

Our mother decorated large cardboard boxes to hold our gifts—each of us had one with our name on it. They sat empty until a few days before Christmas when she filled them with our gifts. I touched my presents over and over before Christmas.  I shook them, felt them, and imagined the contents.  For me, this was as much fun as opening the packages on Christmas day.

Our stockings hung by the chimney with care and off to bed we went on Christmas Eve full of anticipation.  After restlessly sleeping waiting to hear Santa, I would rise while it was still dark and beg my brothers and sisters to get up, too.  We formed a line at the top of the stairs—oldest ones first and ran down the stairs. Sitting beautifully in the corner of the living room was our Christmas tree with gifts from Santa tagged with our names placed neatly around it—proof to me that Santa Claus was real! 

Gifts That Keep On Giving

Free Gift for Infants and Toddlers

Satisfaction Guaranteed

Approaching holidays bring more advertising. Electronic devices makers and app creators hope to be among your holiday gifts. The massive promotion surge for electronic devices as well as apps created for infants and toddlers make it difficult not to get hooked into frenzy of having the latest.  Many marketing promotions claim that these electronic devices and certain apps make children smarter.  Ask yourself…how can that be?

Infants and toddlers explore at will if given opportunities to do so. They move and touch whenever possible. Of course, they will want to touch your smart phone, tablet, or computer. As with all objects they will approach them with curiosity. I have seen infants chew on smart phones and throw temper tantrums when they can’t have one to handle. Ask yourself…what does my child learn from my smart phone or tablet if I hand it over?  Am I tethered to my electronics and do I allow them to interrupt whatever I am doing?  What message do I give my children when I remove my attention from the task at hand to answer a call?

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children under two years of age avoid TV and other screens entirely. Why do they believe this?  Infants and toddlers learn best through human interaction.  We know language is learned best through conversation and interaction. The rich extension of language we get through social interaction builds vocabulary and understanding.  Passively watching TV or using electronic devices leaves out this human interaction. Take the guidelines to heart and find interactive toys meant to entice curiosity, discovery, and imagination. Interacting with caring adults is a crucial part of building a strong base for future learning. How are you fostering curiosity, discovery, and exploration?

This holiday season give infants and toddlers your attention and share the world through their wonder.  Ask questions, build their vocabulary, and play with them.  Give curiosity a chance to happen. Interaction is a free gift that brings lasting satisfaction.